How often do you tell yourself it’s just one more day, as you put something off once again? This is something I find myself doing quite often- to the point where I am actually ashamed to talk about it. I put things off for so long that I will actually stop doing things completely. It’s been 4 months since I last posted a blog post, and the longer I go without posting the more I don’t want to because it’s been too long. I find myself making excuses for neglecting duties due to how much time has passed instead of using that as a motivator to accomplish tasks.
One thing that I have been talking about with my psych a lot lately is, “all or nothing” thinking. This is the most accurate description of how I operate. I go full force into things, giving it my all, and once there’s a small hiccup I stop altogether and as time goes on I feel more and more guilty and I do nothing at all. This is a horrible symptom of anxiety and it can be quite crippling. It is so hard to find pride and acknowledge your accomplishments when all you can see are the things you are avoiding. It’s so hard to learn how to celebrate the small wins and how far you have come.
It’s been 4 months since I have posted a blog and I am so deeply ashamed and since so much time has passed I feel that it’s pointless to continue with this at all. There is so much wrong with this type of thinking. I am getting in the way of myself and stopping myself from accomplishing more. It’s never too late to continue your passions, hobbies, or growth. I have been so incredibly anxious to start posting again but I am also so proud that I took this difficult step to own up to my faults and pick up where I left off. Just because I fumbled a little does not mean that I failed. I’m sorry to anyone who I may have let down while I let myself stray from blogging, videos, podcasts, etc., but I am working very hard to get back in the rhythm and this is a step in the right direction.
To anyone else who struggles with all or nothing thinking, please learn how to be forgiving towards yourself. None of our paths are paved for us and it may be scary to stray off the path we think we should be on, but it can lead to growth. Don’t give up no matter how long it takes for you to get back on the path. It’s hard to learn how to put your anxieties aside and gain the courage to start something up again. While I am proud and happy I took this step, I am still incredibly anxious on how this makes me look and the expectations I have for myself. While I feel like avoidance helps me it hinders me more than anything else. It’s time to challenge our normal unhealthy ways of thinking and for me it’s taking the leap to get back on track no matter how much time I allow to pass by. One step is all we need to get back on track.