The holidays can be especially tough. You are not alone in your struggle. You are never alone. No matter where you are, there are always places to reach out to help you through. Please do not hesitate to contact any of these numbers if you are struggling or in crisis. For more options, check out the Resources page.

KidsHelpPhone Ages 20 Years and Under in Canada – 1-800-668-6868
First Nations and Inuit Hope for Wellness 24/7 Help Line – 1-855-242-3310
Canadian Indian Residential Schools Crisis Line – 1-866-925-4419
Trans LifeLine – All Ages – 1-877-330-6366
Alberta Crisis Line – All Ages – 403-266-4357
British Columbia Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-800-SUICIDE
British Columbia Mental Health Support – 310-6789
BC211 – Referral Hotline 24/7 Dial 211
Manitoba Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-877-435-7170
New Brunswick Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-800-667-5005
Newfoundland and Labrador Line All Ages – 1-888-737-4668
NWT All Ages 24/7 – 1-800-661-0844
Nova Scotia Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-888-429-8167
Nunavut Line – All Ages 7 pm-11 pm (EST) – 1-800-265-3333
Ontario Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-866-531-2600
Ontario College and University Students – 1-866-925-5454
Prince Edward Island Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-800-218-2885
Quebec National Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-866-277-3553
Saskatchewan Crisis Line – All Ages – 1-306-525-5333
Yukon Crisis Line – All Ages 7 pm-12 am (PST) – 1-844-533-3030

How many other people get told that they just need to change the way they think? I think that is a very unfair statement. Depression is so much more than “how we think.” And if thinking differently was an easy thing to do, we all would do it. I try very hard to change the way I think and perceive things and I try to be super positive. I am very optimistic when it comes to other people but that is not easily transferable to myself. It does not matter how positive of a person I can be- I am still depressed. Depression is not just the way you think, depression is a combination of many things. Depression is not caused because we think differently, we think differently because we are depressed.

My only goal with this page is that I raise awareness about mental illnesses and to reach people who might need to read some of what I have to say, yet I still get negative feedback about how I am so negative and need to change how I think. I do not believe there is a problem with the way I think. I believe there is a problem with how people perceive depressed people and anyone else with any other mental illnesses. Depression isn’t always a visual illness but it is very real and very much there.

2018 has really sucked. I’ve been really struggling with wanting to end my life and I have been lacking positive people in my life. Up until the end of this year, I have felt completely alone and hopeless. I have finally now just started to meet positive and loving people. One of the hardest things I have ever done has been cutting toxic people out of my life. I have always said *insert toxic persons name*’s company is better than none. Boy was I wrong! When I am literally hanging half off a bridge I need people to make me feel wanted and loved- instead I have been made to feel like life is hopeless and will not get better. When you are literally on the edge do not tell people how much life sucks, please remind them of how good things can be. Being told how awful everything sucks puts you in such a bad place. For weeks after that, I felt completely empty. I still sometimes do. Self harming and suicide is still something I contemplate on a daily basis but I am actually still glad I am here. I am thankful for all the people who are still here through all their struggles. Please keep going and cut out those toxic people. Being alone is not being worse than being around negative people.

If anyone ever needs to talk, please message me!

It may be 4 a.m. as I write this, while taking a break from compulsively cleaning my washroom, but in comparison to the alternative that I’ve been longing for- this is a huge win for me. I’ve really been trying hard lately to not self harm. When something harmful, such as cutting, has been a crutch for you for so long it is so hard to just stop. I feel like I’m fighting every instinct in my brain and body to not hurt myself in some way. While there are lots of people who cannot comprehend the appeal of self harming, there is an alarming amount of people who can relate and understand. That is just heartbreaking to me. It is very difficult to step out of that mindset and contact or reach out to someone but I urge you to. There are so many people who care and who can help. I’m not saying that reaching out is easy but I know how rewarding it can be.

If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, please send me a message. You are not alone in this, no matter how much you believe that you are. Sometimes we all need other people and that is okay. I’m still coming to terms with that myself- getting help is okay. Please take what help you can get. You matter very much. ❤️

Being a depressive with Generalized Anxiety Disorder often leads me to truly believe I am going mad. My thoughts never hush and trying to focus on a single thought or activity feels virtually impossible. Lately my brain has been more busy than usual. I am constantly overwhelmed to the point where death feels so inviting. Even just sitting down not doing a single thing feels like it is way too much. It really is hard to believe that others experience it- I truly feel as if I’ve gone mad. I am always looking for things to help ease my mind. Breathing exercises help some people, but not myself. One thing I have found to be useful is to ‘ground’ myself. One grounding exercise I practise is; finding 5 things I can see, 4 things I can feel or touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell and one thing I can taste.

What are other things you do to help ease your busy mind?